Judy McNuttJudy McNutt
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Telltale List of a Wild Woman’s Desires– How what you don’t know can hurt you.

Online list of “What A Woman Wants” 

1. Respect. Show us through your actions that you respect our opinions, careers, interests, friends, bodies and minds. You don’t have to agree with all that we say or do, but try to honor our opinions as valuable contributions. Follow the golden rule and treat us as you would like to be treated: Be honest, fair, kind, and considerate.

2. Sex. Yes, we love sex. But, remember that there are four bases to cover in the bedroom, not just one. Try stopping at each base instead of being so focused on the home run—believe us, we’ll thank you for it! Likewise, remember small physical touches like massages. One can never, ever, have too many shoulder rubs. And scratching our heads is pretty great, too.

3. Romance. It’s another night on the couch with take-out and TV? Just because we’re staying in doesn’t mean the evening can’t be romantic. Light a few candles and see where the night leads. Treat us like your girlfriend, even after we become your wife. Date nights, making out in the car, kissing like when we first started dating—all of the things that made us fall in love with you don’t have to stop just because now there are bills to pay, a house to be cleaned, and kids that need to get bathed. Bring home flowers for no reason. We’re not talking $100 bouquets of roses here.  Even the $10 bouquets from the supermarket are enough to make us smile.

4. Time. We understand relationships can’t be all wine and roses; simply making the time to be with us and treating us like your top priority says “love” more than all the fancy gifts and lovely letters ever could. This includes helping around the house. The realities of a 21st-century relationship are that both partners probably work. If you happen to get home before we do, why not take vacuum the living room or throw in a load of laundry?  If you take the garbage out without being asked, chances are you’ll be getting a big ole smooch when you come back.

5. Dinner. Of the homemade variety. You may not be good at cooking and you may not know how to boil water. But greeting us at the door after a long day with fish sticks (or whatever you can wrestle up) makes us swoon, because it shows that you’ve been thinking about us and our hectic day.

6. Communication. Women are vocal creatures. We know you love us, but it’s nice to hear you say it, too. We can also be insecure. We wish we weren’t, but the reality is that we often notice our wobbly thighs and forget about our gorgeous eyes. So let us know when you think we’re hot. Tell us we’re beautiful. It helps us feel good. Plus, when we feel sexy we’re more likely to act sexy. Words of appreciation aren’t half-bad either. Tell us you love the lasagna we made. Thank us for driving the kids to school. Notice that we cleaned the bathtub. It doesn’t have to be over the top, just let us know that you see the effort we put in, and you’re grateful.

7. Consistency. This doesn’t mean be boring and predictable. It means that we know you will (usually, no one is perfect!) give us the love and support we need. Knowing that you’re coming at this with the same desires and energy as we are goes a long way to making us feel secure.

8. Engagement. Of the mental kind, not the “I’m getting married in the morning” kind. You don’t have to like everything we like (we might be a little concerned if you do), but showing interest in our passions, be it career-related, a sport or a hobby, goes a long way. Listen when we talk to you. We’re not speaking just so we can hear our own voice; we want to connect with you and this is one valuable way we do this. This also means paying attention to the little things. Whether it’s the name of your best friend’s husband or the fact that you hate Nicolas Cage movies, it’s the little things you remember about us that’s so endearing.

9. Humor and humility. These two tend to go hand in hand. This doesn’t mean that you have to crack jokes or entertain us, but just being able to laugh at yourself is enough. Guys who take themselves too seriously bring everyone down.

10. Challenge. Not the kind that makes a relationship constant work, but the good kind that surprises and motivates us to do, be or achieve what we desire. Studies show that partners who prod each other to meet goals—in other words, don’t support lazy or bad habits—are ultimately happier than those who don’t hold each other accountable.

A fare, “Old Paradigm” list of what many women desire in relationship, I guess.

I am interested in what women want out of all that life has to offer so I have been asking them over the past few weeks. Last night my research reached a tipping point. I have collected enough anecdotal data to see the paradigm shift for myself. I was on a video conference with some women who shared their big desires, their paradigm shifting desires. They were so elegantly succinct I got goosebumps. Here is a partial list:

  • Freedom

  • Joy

  • Oneness

  • Compassion

  • Kindness

  • Integrity

  • Creativity

  • Expansion

  • Community

  • Social Justice

  • Safety

  • Enlightenment

  • Space

  • Love

  • Integration

  • Peace

  • Power

  • Passion

  • Fulfillment

  • Clarity

  • Connection

  • Soul-centeredness

  • A Voice

  • Choices

  • To Be Seen and Heard

  • Transformation

What do you desire?

How can what you don’t know hurt you?

You already know what happens in a relationship when your needs and desires are out of alignment with what you are receiving or experiencing. Separation, either actual physical separation or emotional distancing.

Your most important relationship, though is the one you have with the truth of who you really are. When you try to live out your life blocked from your true desires, you are living in a quietly simmering agony. Your un-actualized soul reaches further and further afield attempting to get your attention. You may have walled yourself off in an attempt at some peace. Eventually, you will either come to the truth of who you really are or you will learn to live in the agony of who you are not. A painful path to follow.

You may already KNOW what you want. I encourage you to make plans and take action to have it, do it, be it.

[ctt template=”8″ link=”7tTu7″ via=”no” ]I encourage you to find and live in the truth of who you really are. [/ctt]

[ctt template=”8″ link=”euP0M” via=”no” ]Send Your Truth out into the world straight from your heart and you will be a agent of change, a Sister of the Shift![/ctt]

As always, please contact me if I can be of service to you or your soul-centered life!

Dr Judy

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